Not for romance, sadly (though I still think Neruda deserves a shrine), but for reality.
Kami and I went for a drink with the couple who will soon be the Bakers, and on our way home we contemplated normalcy. Something that has always been painful for me is the act of just letting go. The Asian concepts of things like face, tradition and propriety mean that I am often offended even when that may not seem to be the case. To a large extent, I ignore my discomfort and my distaste, explaining differences away to reasons of cultural differences, or (should that fail) my own snobbery. In reality, however, I think these are excuses, and really, it's about linguistics.
Case in point. Random girl says to the Hubs how admirable it is that he tolerates my social schedule. To some this would be interpreted as "concerned female friend expresses concern for her married male acquaintance". To me, the cynic/realist, this reads as "are you envious or just trying to ruin my marriage?". One of these is not the normal perspective... Which though? I think both scenarios are equally likely. Well, ok, I lie. My opinion is skewed.
When I tried to illustrate my point to Kami, I used the example of the perfectly happy couple, much like the Hubs and I, who win the lottery. The Hubs is one of the luckiest people I know, forever winning prizes and landing feet first. Still... we hardly ever buy lottery tickets . If we did win the lottery, would we cash it? Why not? Well, quite simply... if it ain't broke... why tinker with it?
As I explained to Kami, I know too many families ripped apart by good fortune. If you are happy, why would you throw a windfall in the mix? Your life is balanced and well - where would greed take you? Yet, at the same time... would you be happier with more options and more opportunity? I've always said that I work as I do so as to provide opportunity and choice to my children. Should I cash that ticket on that basis? If I did, how would I manage the risk that they turn out like so many of the rich kids , where they choose not to work a day in their lives instead either gambling their easily gotten gains on one scheme after another, or simply trading the family name. How would I respect them?
Sometimes I have to questions whether it's my point of view that's perverted or whether it's just that no one has the same outlook that I do. Is that the same thing?
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2 comments:
random girl sounds like a shit-stirrer who would best be ignored. or slayed, but that's not reality, right? been reading too much pillars of the earth.
you're happy in your marriage - leave other people to their sad gossip.
and i would cash the ticket, btw. would move to thailand and spend the rest of my days on beach with the man making passionate love. and catching fish.
what a bitch. should've scratched her in the face, nosy bitch.
i would donate the ticket, definitely agree with not disturbing a happy balance. especially with things like that, why drop a 3 pound weight on the end of a scale and tip it over when you can add things bit by bit on both sides and make it stay put. anyway, i am thinking peanut butter frosting, cinnamon cream cheese frosting, lemon frosting, for blue blueberry (oh yeah imagination), bubblegum? (maybe a tad too adventurous?),
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