Friday, October 04, 2002

I must admit that I'm really depressed today. I can't remember the last time I've been this tired, and the tiredness seems to have messed up any decision making ability I have. I spent over an hour in Safeways [without a basket] trying to decide what would go well with Udon, before abandoning the idea of cooking and settling on a ready meal [Mushroom Stroganoff].

For one. =<

These things are incredibly depressing. No matter how nice they're promised to be, the point is that once you remove the cardboard disguise, you get little separated pockets of food that look sterile and, well, lonely. To make it worse .. I'm listening to Jewel [old album], whihc probably doesn't help. There's something about this album that makes me want to swoon with pleasure at the images or cry myself to death. It's really schizophrenic. 'You Were Meant For Me' is just amazing.

Tonight's the in-between night for me, where I get used to my ex not being around, before I go to stay with my boyfriend. It's really weird. I actually think, that in a weird way [Forgive me, boo, if you see this], the ex might love me more. More ... I don't know. As much as you can love someone you don't really know. Not to say my boyfriend doesn't love me, he does [I'm lucky, I know], but not quite so unconditionally, I don't think. Strange. Maybe this is why I'm so down. This calls for hot chocolate, with lots of Bailey's.

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