In a tribute to my all time favourite drinking game, and because I’m missing bonding with my friends, I thought I’d play a solitary version here.
Guess how many times I had to drink in this round, and let me know how many shots you’ve had too...
1. I have never participated in a rally or march
2. I have never lived for more than six months outside my country of birth
3. I have never picked up a person of the same sex in a bar
4. I have never stalked a celebrity (defined as having done anything out of your normal routine in order to stage an encounter, with a person whose name has appeared in a broadsheet newspaper)
5. I have never dated anyone for more than five dates for the express purpose of meeting a criteria that would involve dating more than six people to be satisfied. For example, dating one person for each day of the week, from each continent, to spell the alphabet, etc.
6. I have never kissed an animal
7. I have never auditioned for a part in a movie or reality TV show
8. I have never flamed a blogger
9. I have never had pet fish
10. I have never pretended to be Elvis.
Showing posts with label PicketFence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PicketFence. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Hate
C: "Is this XXX?"
Me: "Yes"
C: "Of # YYY Road?"
Me: "Yes"
C: "I live on YYY Road and am part of the residents committee and we've decided you're an unwelcome element"
Me: "ok"
C: "you're not welcome on YYY Road"
Me: "Ok"
C: *hangs up*
I call police. Then compliance, who cheerfully run the tapes and ask for a trace.
Me: "Yes"
C: "Of # YYY Road?"
Me: "Yes"
C: "I live on YYY Road and am part of the residents committee and we've decided you're an unwelcome element"
Me: "ok"
C: "you're not welcome on YYY Road"
Me: "Ok"
C: *hangs up*
I call police. Then compliance, who cheerfully run the tapes and ask for a trace.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Christmas Spirit
Today the Hubs and I were going through Christmas gifts and talking about the very best things about Christmas, and here are the things we came up with...
1)Christmas Dinner:
2) The excuse to indulge, because we absolutely need an excuse:
3) Christmas trees surrounded by gifts:
Preferably two of them:
4) Or, even better, the Elf House:
5)The gifts. This is the worst gift I gave:
I think this was the best:
It's a cheese subscription - a cheese a month for the next year. I wish I'd bought myself one!
Already I cannot wait for the next Christmas, yay yay yay.
1)Christmas Dinner:
2) The excuse to indulge, because we absolutely need an excuse:
3) Christmas trees surrounded by gifts:
Preferably two of them:
4) Or, even better, the Elf House:
5)The gifts. This is the worst gift I gave:
I think this was the best:
It's a cheese subscription - a cheese a month for the next year. I wish I'd bought myself one!
Already I cannot wait for the next Christmas, yay yay yay.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Taking Tea
This has been a busy weekend and a half! On Saturday I got to witness the might of the Irish before hosting a baby shower (on two days notice) on Sunday.
Ms Peabody had arranged for a champagne tea for six in honour of her birthday. She had picked the Soho Hotel, which seems to be making quite a name for its Tea. It appears to be favoured by the fashion crowd, who seem to opt for it if they have high metabolisms, or for the "healthy" tea at the Metropolitan
if they don't. Pret-a-portea seems to be more popular with girls outside the fashion industry, but always amuses me. Personally, I'd like to try out the restaurant teas instead of the hotel ones. The teas at Mo Tea, Roka and Sketch sound particularly interesting. Much as I enjoy Tea, or any other excuse I can drum up for a cocktail at 2pm, there is only so far one can go with scones and pavlovas. Even sandwiches can be tricky to make exceptional without becoming hideously bad value.
The Soho Hotel was a strange experience on this occasion though. The entrance on Richmond Mews is referred to by the staff as "the back entrance" and involves cutting through the main restaurant. This is a practice I disagree with because I am a shameless people watcher. I realise this may sound contradictory since restaurant throughfares are condusive to people watching. The problem I have, as someone who deliberately sits with back to the masses when I can, is that it is incredibly distracting. Picture this: a group are sat at a table discussing the inevitable trials and tribulations of someone's love life. A stunning girl walks by, or perhaps a man in need of a stylist (this is London, the odds of those two happening are high. One of the common male pitfalls being continental fashion/American frame). A people watcher would probably pipe up with "whoa." at the very least, detracting from the conversation at the table. This is rude. I know this because I do it all the time and constantly feel bad for it. In any case, using a space characterised by conversation and the transportation of piping hot liquids for channeling groups of people seems decidedly ill advised.
Beyond the design flaw in the layout, there seems to have been a somewhat large gap in the training of the service staff. There were multiple instances where we waiting for around ten minutes for a drink, eye contact or a response. The staff were polite, but naïve. Saying "the bartender is very busy" is an honest but inexperienced response to "it's been quite awhile since my order of (a straightforward drink), when can I expect it?". The smaller slip ups were tolerable, like not setting up properly (missing wine glasses, tea strainers, milk), but not having available menus or a full service for the numbers seems foolish and lacklustre. Still, I discovered a new tea to cherish, the jasmine blossom tea. Apart from tasting great, it looked spectacular, with a spooky flower dominating the pot. I found this nigh on impossible to photograph, but this otherwise unexciting shot captured the blossom, almost:
They also obliged my request for an earl grey/lapsang souchong http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lapsang_souchong
blend, which I am grateful for. Anyhow, Tea is for Ladies, and it was the ladies who made the occasion.
Forget about the rugby, boy bands and hot accent. Ireland is all about its women. Apart from being an unusually attractive group, the girls were all intelligent and funny. Everyone was open minded and the conversation went down routes I hadn't fathomed. We talked about everything from Club Pedestal to whether it is just as bad to wear fur from an endangered animal or any animal (regardless of how bountiful the livestock may be) to Russell Brand (pro - humour, con - risk of disease) to Scientology. All that while drinking cocktails and eating cake. There cannot be many occasions better.
On Rememberance Sunday Casa Jamtam played host to Ms George's baby shower. The theme was American/English, and we celebrated with a tea that included a Victoria Sponge, Cupcakes, Pumpkin scones and lemon drizzle cake. Naomi at Vintage Secret did pretty much all the hard work, baking from scratch at six am to provide us not just with the vintage crockery and linens, but also teas imported from Paris and all this:
For favours, my friend's wife had baked green tea macaroons, which I bundled the macaroons into little baby socks and distributed with tea pigs for a take away afternoon tea:
All in all it was a hectic weekend. Amazingly I managed to lose two pounds over the weekend, despite spending the nights drinking copious amounts of champagne with the Hubs while eating cheese. Yum!
Ms Peabody had arranged for a champagne tea for six in honour of her birthday. She had picked the Soho Hotel, which seems to be making quite a name for its Tea. It appears to be favoured by the fashion crowd, who seem to opt for it if they have high metabolisms, or for the "healthy" tea at the Metropolitan
if they don't. Pret-a-portea seems to be more popular with girls outside the fashion industry, but always amuses me. Personally, I'd like to try out the restaurant teas instead of the hotel ones. The teas at Mo Tea, Roka and Sketch sound particularly interesting. Much as I enjoy Tea, or any other excuse I can drum up for a cocktail at 2pm, there is only so far one can go with scones and pavlovas. Even sandwiches can be tricky to make exceptional without becoming hideously bad value.
The Soho Hotel was a strange experience on this occasion though. The entrance on Richmond Mews is referred to by the staff as "the back entrance" and involves cutting through the main restaurant. This is a practice I disagree with because I am a shameless people watcher. I realise this may sound contradictory since restaurant throughfares are condusive to people watching. The problem I have, as someone who deliberately sits with back to the masses when I can, is that it is incredibly distracting. Picture this: a group are sat at a table discussing the inevitable trials and tribulations of someone's love life. A stunning girl walks by, or perhaps a man in need of a stylist (this is London, the odds of those two happening are high. One of the common male pitfalls being continental fashion/American frame). A people watcher would probably pipe up with "whoa." at the very least, detracting from the conversation at the table. This is rude. I know this because I do it all the time and constantly feel bad for it. In any case, using a space characterised by conversation and the transportation of piping hot liquids for channeling groups of people seems decidedly ill advised.
Beyond the design flaw in the layout, there seems to have been a somewhat large gap in the training of the service staff. There were multiple instances where we waiting for around ten minutes for a drink, eye contact or a response. The staff were polite, but naïve. Saying "the bartender is very busy" is an honest but inexperienced response to "it's been quite awhile since my order of (a straightforward drink), when can I expect it?". The smaller slip ups were tolerable, like not setting up properly (missing wine glasses, tea strainers, milk), but not having available menus or a full service for the numbers seems foolish and lacklustre. Still, I discovered a new tea to cherish, the jasmine blossom tea. Apart from tasting great, it looked spectacular, with a spooky flower dominating the pot. I found this nigh on impossible to photograph, but this otherwise unexciting shot captured the blossom, almost:
They also obliged my request for an earl grey/lapsang souchong http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lapsang_souchong
blend, which I am grateful for. Anyhow, Tea is for Ladies, and it was the ladies who made the occasion.
Forget about the rugby, boy bands and hot accent. Ireland is all about its women. Apart from being an unusually attractive group, the girls were all intelligent and funny. Everyone was open minded and the conversation went down routes I hadn't fathomed. We talked about everything from Club Pedestal to whether it is just as bad to wear fur from an endangered animal or any animal (regardless of how bountiful the livestock may be) to Russell Brand (pro - humour, con - risk of disease) to Scientology. All that while drinking cocktails and eating cake. There cannot be many occasions better.
On Rememberance Sunday Casa Jamtam played host to Ms George's baby shower. The theme was American/English, and we celebrated with a tea that included a Victoria Sponge, Cupcakes, Pumpkin scones and lemon drizzle cake. Naomi at Vintage Secret did pretty much all the hard work, baking from scratch at six am to provide us not just with the vintage crockery and linens, but also teas imported from Paris and all this:
For favours, my friend's wife had baked green tea macaroons, which I bundled the macaroons into little baby socks and distributed with tea pigs for a take away afternoon tea:
All in all it was a hectic weekend. Amazingly I managed to lose two pounds over the weekend, despite spending the nights drinking copious amounts of champagne with the Hubs while eating cheese. Yum!
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Housebroken
On Halloween mi casa had it's first ever JamTam party - a Halloween murder mystery. The murder mystery itself was scripted for 14 characters, which was a bit of a dillema since we had around thirty people coming on the night. Everyone lived up to the challenge and there were some brilliant costumes including the Hubs as toxic-green Frankenstein (though if you squinted he could've been a Ninja Turtle), Celia as Carrie and her capital-M in Man as a two headed monster. The Whaley's came as a hot vampire (with a slight lisp) and drunken pirate complete with Captain Morgan's, the pirate outfit was my favourite for the night (two headed monster came close). Mr. Anderson came as a Mummy and was soft to the touch. The Evans' came as a vampire couple in the best I-only-discovered-the-costume-I-was-meant-to-get-two-hours-ago costume imaginable. I'm still not sure how they managed it. Amongst my favourite moments of the evening were my sister's boyfriend being murdered around the corner from where the scene had been cunningly set, which led to a full three minutes of confusion; dunking apple into toffee and then rolling it in nuts (wasted = scalded finger, but it was tasty and therefore worth doing repeatedly); making ridiculous food; the random call-outs by the people playing the game; a visitation by my cousin and her friends; doing shots out of ramekins. It was a good night. Evidenced by the appearance of a pair of gold heels in my kitchen (someone was Cinderella) and scattered articles of clothing through the house.
Most impressively, the thirty of us (including at least four non-drinkers and four people who left early, so really it was about twenty of us) drank
- 15 bottles of wine
- 20 beers
- 2 bottles of Jägermeister *gag*
- 2 bottles vodka
- 1 bottle rum
- 1.5 bottles whisky
My neighbours, who until that day thought we were going to be pillars of the community, took photographs of our recycling. I don't think it's a good sign.
Most impressively, the thirty of us (including at least four non-drinkers and four people who left early, so really it was about twenty of us) drank
- 15 bottles of wine
- 20 beers
- 2 bottles of Jägermeister *gag*
- 2 bottles vodka
- 1 bottle rum
- 1.5 bottles whisky
My neighbours, who until that day thought we were going to be pillars of the community, took photographs of our recycling. I don't think it's a good sign.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Captains log 1529 28102009
This is a terrible, terrible place. The hallmarks of civilisation are few amongst its people. An eerie silence lingers.
Yes, we have no media.
Today we had a section of the exterior damp-proofed. It had come up as a potential issue on our survey and we’d knocked the price of the house down by most of what it was going to cost to fix, so we’d always known it was going to happen, and had scheduled it in for today. What we didn’t know was:
i) It was a three day job. Day one involved stripping the wall back to the original brick (thankfully in good condition), drilling holes in the wall, filling said wall with silicone, plastering over. Day two is assigned for painting and finishing the wall, and day three for any finishing touches. Good thing I’m OCD enough to need to do things in threes and had taken three days off work!
ii) It would commence at seven am. The drilling started at eight. Both my immediate neighbours have babies. I think they may hate me. I left them cakes from Outsider Tart as a peace offering. I don’t know if it will work.
iii) It would take out our entire media hub, so we are without Internet, Cable or Phone. It’s Trueblood Wednesday! This could not have come at a worst time. Thank God for on demand.
To make the most of the day I decided to have a Bistro le JamTam evening. I don’t think I’ve posted about this before but something the Hubs and I do once a week is have a sit down meal together, in as intimate a surrounding as we can muster in the house. We lay the table, put on some Buble or similar, and I make an effort with the meal. Tonight it’s skate, our current favourite fish. It would’ve been swordfish but apparently that’s endangered now, so my fishmonger delivered a lecture and sent me away with something he knew I’d like. I know the Hubs will be eating a lot of food in the next four days as I guinea pig (GP) him for the Halloween Housewarming, so thought I’d try to keep it simple. Tonight he’ll be having Halloween bread (basically pizzas in Halloween shapes. I don’t think they look like they’re meant to, so he gets to test) to warm up. I’ve made up a sauce as follows. I like it, lets hope he does over the skate, vegetables and some gnocchi:
1 part lemon juice
1 part olive oil
Garlic slivers, thin as possible
Chilli slivers, think as possible
Mint (shredded)
Oregano (I sprinkled dry)
**update** he loved it!
Yes, we have no media.
Today we had a section of the exterior damp-proofed. It had come up as a potential issue on our survey and we’d knocked the price of the house down by most of what it was going to cost to fix, so we’d always known it was going to happen, and had scheduled it in for today. What we didn’t know was:
i) It was a three day job. Day one involved stripping the wall back to the original brick (thankfully in good condition), drilling holes in the wall, filling said wall with silicone, plastering over. Day two is assigned for painting and finishing the wall, and day three for any finishing touches. Good thing I’m OCD enough to need to do things in threes and had taken three days off work!
ii) It would commence at seven am. The drilling started at eight. Both my immediate neighbours have babies. I think they may hate me. I left them cakes from Outsider Tart as a peace offering. I don’t know if it will work.
iii) It would take out our entire media hub, so we are without Internet, Cable or Phone. It’s Trueblood Wednesday! This could not have come at a worst time. Thank God for on demand.
To make the most of the day I decided to have a Bistro le JamTam evening. I don’t think I’ve posted about this before but something the Hubs and I do once a week is have a sit down meal together, in as intimate a surrounding as we can muster in the house. We lay the table, put on some Buble or similar, and I make an effort with the meal. Tonight it’s skate, our current favourite fish. It would’ve been swordfish but apparently that’s endangered now, so my fishmonger delivered a lecture and sent me away with something he knew I’d like. I know the Hubs will be eating a lot of food in the next four days as I guinea pig (GP) him for the Halloween Housewarming, so thought I’d try to keep it simple. Tonight he’ll be having Halloween bread (basically pizzas in Halloween shapes. I don’t think they look like they’re meant to, so he gets to test) to warm up. I’ve made up a sauce as follows. I like it, lets hope he does over the skate, vegetables and some gnocchi:
1 part lemon juice
1 part olive oil
Garlic slivers, thin as possible
Chilli slivers, think as possible
Mint (shredded)
Oregano (I sprinkled dry)
**update** he loved it!
Thursday, October 01, 2009
The Day Has Come
... after all the ups and downs and confusion, the Hubs and I are finally home owners. Kick ASS. We get the keys today but the house isn't going to be the mega pad we hope for until next Spring, boo. Still... it's the most exciting thing to happen to us since our wedding.
What has been reassuring is that there's suddenly a whole bunch of stuff going on in the hood. Case to point:
The Chiswick Book Festival. I managed to miss Anthony Horowitz, Michelle Paver and Sir Ian McKellen, the Book Quiz and Sam Delaney, but I did manage to go to the comedy;
Outsider Tart opened and my waistline changed forever. Again;
I had an ace meal at La Trompette;
There's a great stand up show soon, which I can't make, boo;
Though I wll make Sherlock Holmes... the last act.
Slightly further afield is the comedy in Richmond this weekend. The Hubs and I are going to see Simon Amstell after dinner at Chez Lindsey. Can't wait!
What has been reassuring is that there's suddenly a whole bunch of stuff going on in the hood. Case to point:
The Chiswick Book Festival. I managed to miss Anthony Horowitz, Michelle Paver and Sir Ian McKellen, the Book Quiz and Sam Delaney, but I did manage to go to the comedy;
Outsider Tart opened and my waistline changed forever. Again;
I had an ace meal at La Trompette;
There's a great stand up show soon, which I can't make, boo;
Though I wll make Sherlock Holmes... the last act.
Slightly further afield is the comedy in Richmond this weekend. The Hubs and I are going to see Simon Amstell after dinner at Chez Lindsey. Can't wait!
Friday, September 18, 2009
SchizoFrinia
This day started out badly. I've been pushing my ability to not sleep to the limit this week and am running on caffeine alone. Unfortunately, I had a counterparty meeting at nine, and had to pull myself together. I was a little nervous about it since I didn't think I was going to astound them with my coherence and capability, but then I saw this and decided it would all be alright.
I love Hackers and so thought this was excellent. It was randomly on the back of a street sign outside a (soon to be "inspired by") Starbucks in the City.
The meeting actually went really well, though I think I'll be busy on the back of it. I had a little bit of a bounce in my step on the way back to the office, where I found this on my desk:
If you know me, you'll know that I am obsessed by stationery and so that little blue box (Tiffany's? Pah!) almost gave me palpitations. Here's what was in it (no messy desk comments please!)
It was a birthday gift from two of my favourite colleagues, and I can't wait to fill it out!
Then at lunch, the day just turned to crap. I offered this piece of feedback to a noodle chain I've always thought was overated:
Please don't feel it necessary to respond to this, but I thought I'd outline the experience I've had today.
I called to order take out at 11. I was told the restaurant was not opened yet, so please call at 1130.
I called at 1130. Part of my order included Chilli Beef Ramen, to be substituted to Soba. I was told there was no beef that day. At all.
I arrived to collect my order at 12 as agreed. There was a four man deep queue all being ignored by the manager, who was trying to fix the till. We waited for 15 minutes before eventually being assisted by any of the 5 staff in the area.
When I returned to the office, I discovered that the noodles were a congealed mass about the consistency of polenta. Soba doesn't ever achieve that, so the order was clearly wrong. Beyond that though, it was exceptionally sub standard. If the issue was that the incorrect noodle, which I think must have been ramen, was left to stew in the hot soup and so turned into glue, the solution would be to have the noodles served on the side for take out.
Here is my memory, which I will be sharing with my office.
They called me and offered me vouchers. I declined. They insisted.
Then, all of a sudden, the day took a bounce. The completion date for our new pad moved forward. We'll be homeowners in October, yay!
I love Hackers and so thought this was excellent. It was randomly on the back of a street sign outside a (soon to be "inspired by") Starbucks in the City.
The meeting actually went really well, though I think I'll be busy on the back of it. I had a little bit of a bounce in my step on the way back to the office, where I found this on my desk:
If you know me, you'll know that I am obsessed by stationery and so that little blue box (Tiffany's? Pah!) almost gave me palpitations. Here's what was in it (no messy desk comments please!)
It was a birthday gift from two of my favourite colleagues, and I can't wait to fill it out!
Then at lunch, the day just turned to crap. I offered this piece of feedback to a noodle chain I've always thought was overated:
Please don't feel it necessary to respond to this, but I thought I'd outline the experience I've had today.
I called to order take out at 11. I was told the restaurant was not opened yet, so please call at 1130.
I called at 1130. Part of my order included Chilli Beef Ramen, to be substituted to Soba. I was told there was no beef that day. At all.
I arrived to collect my order at 12 as agreed. There was a four man deep queue all being ignored by the manager, who was trying to fix the till. We waited for 15 minutes before eventually being assisted by any of the 5 staff in the area.
When I returned to the office, I discovered that the noodles were a congealed mass about the consistency of polenta. Soba doesn't ever achieve that, so the order was clearly wrong. Beyond that though, it was exceptionally sub standard. If the issue was that the incorrect noodle, which I think must have been ramen, was left to stew in the hot soup and so turned into glue, the solution would be to have the noodles served on the side for take out.
Here is my memory, which I will be sharing with my office.
They called me and offered me vouchers. I declined. They insisted.
Then, all of a sudden, the day took a bounce. The completion date for our new pad moved forward. We'll be homeowners in October, yay!
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Very Superstitious...
... this Wednesday I have what I'm hoping the final meet and greet for one of the potential new jobs. I'm hoping that I'll walk out, with an offer on the table and two contracts to choose between while I'm in Singapore. One of which will hopefully offer a package akin to the size of third world/US debt.
... this Wednesday I'm paying over 10% of the house value and agreeing to exchange, unless something horrific comes up.
... this Wednesday I am wearing a power dress.
... this all feels like it's all going to go horrifically wrong on Wednesday. You can't have too many things at once or something is bound to go wrong.
... this Wednesday I'm paying over 10% of the house value and agreeing to exchange, unless something horrific comes up.
... this Wednesday I am wearing a power dress.
... this all feels like it's all going to go horrifically wrong on Wednesday. You can't have too many things at once or something is bound to go wrong.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
RentoKILL
So, the housebuying saga continues.
We'd initially been meant to exchange contracts for the property on 17 Aug, but with no word from lawyers of either side it seemed this wasn't happening. The survey had come back largely positive, but suggested getting a woodworm (ick) and damp specialist survey done. Another £125, assuming no work needs to be done.
We are now 10 days post target date for exchange, with no fixed date on the horizon. Fingers crossed it happens next week before I have to go to Singapore!
We'd initially been meant to exchange contracts for the property on 17 Aug, but with no word from lawyers of either side it seemed this wasn't happening. The survey had come back largely positive, but suggested getting a woodworm (ick) and damp specialist survey done. Another £125, assuming no work needs to be done.
We are now 10 days post target date for exchange, with no fixed date on the horizon. Fingers crossed it happens next week before I have to go to Singapore!
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Poverty Bound
At the 100 Women In Hedge Funds event last night, two separate people asked me if I was pregnant (when I was on my fifth glass of wine), and one said I looked it. Damn. Beyond that though, one of my friends, who I shall call Celia, confirmed that she’s exchanging on her property purchase with her boyfriend and that they’ll be completing on the 17th of August. Arg! Another reason not to talk about our buy yet, I would hate it if someone came up to me in three weeks and said “me too!”. This is turning into a bit of a vicious cycle.
Anyhow, the buy is already turning scary. Beyond the ludicrous mortgage repayments, we have also had a letter from the solicitor outlining costs. These would be
Fees £1,175
Stamp £[unsavoury to say but is 4% of purchase price]
Land Reg Fees £550
Searches £350 approx
Banks transfer £17.25
Misc searches £18
To top it off we also had a piece of bad news. When I was speaking to the builders we’re interested in using, one of them mentioned recent changes to planning laws. Essentially, not one really understands it, but it means houses under the Hounslow Council can no longer construct full side extensions. This was a bit of a shock because
(a) 70% of the houses must have them
(b) we wanted to and it would mean losing 10 square metres, which is hefty
(c) it was factored into the house price.
I literally hung up and halted the purchase while I tried to get verification from the council. I called them at about 11 am, only t be told the planning office was only open in the afternoons (what?! Why? Do people not have homes in the morning?). I called at 1 pm, when they were meant to be open, only to be told that the Chiswick liaison or whatever would only be in from 2:30pm. Wow. A two and a half hour window (and if you know what I do, you’ll know why Window is the key word here).
I call them at 2:30pm and the first time, I get hung up on. The next time I get an Antipodean who is instantly unfriendly. She tells me that it’s hard luck, side return extensions have to be within 3m of the ultimate rear wall. I ask if that means the garden wall, clutching at straws, and she tells me it’s the furthest wall of the property from the entrance in the voice of someone explaining to a ten year old that it’s not acceptable to poop in their friends shoe. I try to explain to her that I’m not stupid, just confused as to why a council would restrict local business, property value and legal clarity. She doesn’t understand why not being able to build bigger projects would be a bad thing for the twenty or so local building agencies. She doesn’t understand why smaller houses are worth less than big ones. She doesn’t understand why it is likely to not be a coincidence that she has had the same query for months.
I give up and email the boys. I normally have better luck with them.
The boys do sort of come through. I now have an email saying that I can build three metres out towards the furthest wall of the property (which gains me about a metre and a half or thereabouts). If I stick a shed on the end that doesn’t touch the walls of the house, that is ok. It still is annoying that we can’t do the whole thing although the builders are now trying to encourage me to build a glass structure, which apparently doesn’t count.
Purchase back on!
Running summary of costs:
Mortgage £1,000 arrangement
Survey £1,510 the works
Legal £2,110 approximated
Stamp £Massive
Stress & Anxiety £Priceless
Anyhow, the buy is already turning scary. Beyond the ludicrous mortgage repayments, we have also had a letter from the solicitor outlining costs. These would be
Fees £1,175
Stamp £[unsavoury to say but is 4% of purchase price]
Land Reg Fees £550
Searches £350 approx
Banks transfer £17.25
Misc searches £18
To top it off we also had a piece of bad news. When I was speaking to the builders we’re interested in using, one of them mentioned recent changes to planning laws. Essentially, not one really understands it, but it means houses under the Hounslow Council can no longer construct full side extensions. This was a bit of a shock because
(a) 70% of the houses must have them
(b) we wanted to and it would mean losing 10 square metres, which is hefty
(c) it was factored into the house price.
I literally hung up and halted the purchase while I tried to get verification from the council. I called them at about 11 am, only t be told the planning office was only open in the afternoons (what?! Why? Do people not have homes in the morning?). I called at 1 pm, when they were meant to be open, only to be told that the Chiswick liaison or whatever would only be in from 2:30pm. Wow. A two and a half hour window (and if you know what I do, you’ll know why Window is the key word here).
I call them at 2:30pm and the first time, I get hung up on. The next time I get an Antipodean who is instantly unfriendly. She tells me that it’s hard luck, side return extensions have to be within 3m of the ultimate rear wall. I ask if that means the garden wall, clutching at straws, and she tells me it’s the furthest wall of the property from the entrance in the voice of someone explaining to a ten year old that it’s not acceptable to poop in their friends shoe. I try to explain to her that I’m not stupid, just confused as to why a council would restrict local business, property value and legal clarity. She doesn’t understand why not being able to build bigger projects would be a bad thing for the twenty or so local building agencies. She doesn’t understand why smaller houses are worth less than big ones. She doesn’t understand why it is likely to not be a coincidence that she has had the same query for months.
I give up and email the boys. I normally have better luck with them.
The boys do sort of come through. I now have an email saying that I can build three metres out towards the furthest wall of the property (which gains me about a metre and a half or thereabouts). If I stick a shed on the end that doesn’t touch the walls of the house, that is ok. It still is annoying that we can’t do the whole thing although the builders are now trying to encourage me to build a glass structure, which apparently doesn’t count.
Purchase back on!
Running summary of costs:
Mortgage £1,000 arrangement
Survey £1,510 the works
Legal £2,110 approximated
Stamp £Massive
Stress & Anxiety £Priceless
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunk Cost
So where before I didn't want to tell my friends about the house-buy situations because there was already so much good news in the works (pregnancies, some people looking marriage-ready, new jobs, houses) it wouldn't have been right to jump in and demand attention. Today there's been some bad news and now I think it would be wholly inappropriate, so the house buy is on total back burner from a sharing perspective. These posts will stay unpublished until the time is right.
The update though, is this. The Hubs and I went to the bank today to arrange our mortgage. We needed to gather some information for this, like 2 years worth of P60s, bank statements, payslips and employer's address. The process itself was a little painless. We simply walked in and handed the paper over. A declaration had to be signed notifying us that, amongst other things we would be offered a Mortgage Payment Protection Product (no thanks!), and subject to repayments totalling £1.51 for every £1 borrowed. Ouch. It was at this point that we worked out the rates had gone up from when we'd previously enquired, but it was still the best rate we could get. We signed the bits of paper and that was it. We were committed to £1000 arrangement fee (added to the mortgage) and £1,510 valuation fee (we'd opted for the full sche-bang). Still plenty of time to get gazumped.
The update though, is this. The Hubs and I went to the bank today to arrange our mortgage. We needed to gather some information for this, like 2 years worth of P60s, bank statements, payslips and employer's address. The process itself was a little painless. We simply walked in and handed the paper over. A declaration had to be signed notifying us that, amongst other things we would be offered a Mortgage Payment Protection Product (no thanks!), and subject to repayments totalling £1.51 for every £1 borrowed. Ouch. It was at this point that we worked out the rates had gone up from when we'd previously enquired, but it was still the best rate we could get. We signed the bits of paper and that was it. We were committed to £1000 arrangement fee (added to the mortgage) and £1,510 valuation fee (we'd opted for the full sche-bang). Still plenty of time to get gazumped.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Tick Tock
So we've been reasonably ecstatic ever since we heard we were going to be proud homeowners. Reasonably so because we're worried about getting gazumped, have no idea what comes next and have already argued about money once.
Turns out that once solicitors are instructed the mortgages need to be arranged. I phoned our mortgage advisor and found out that the mortage arrangement would cost a grand and then the survey (house is centuries old, so we're playing it safe with a full survey) is £1,510. At least the valuation and survey will be coming back quick!
The next thing was to agree the date of exchange (where deposit of 10% gets paid), we're trying for 17 July, just before the Hubs' 30th. Completion will be on 17th Aug if all goes to plan. The way I see it we'll have at least six weeks of build so will hand in notice on our current pad on the day we exchange, and then hope there are no delays.
Turns out that once solicitors are instructed the mortgages need to be arranged. I phoned our mortgage advisor and found out that the mortage arrangement would cost a grand and then the survey (house is centuries old, so we're playing it safe with a full survey) is £1,510. At least the valuation and survey will be coming back quick!
The next thing was to agree the date of exchange (where deposit of 10% gets paid), we're trying for 17 July, just before the Hubs' 30th. Completion will be on 17th Aug if all goes to plan. The way I see it we'll have at least six weeks of build so will hand in notice on our current pad on the day we exchange, and then hope there are no delays.
Back in the Driving Seat
Having waited on tenterhooks all day, I decided I'd had enough and called our agent. She, sadly, told me that the other offer hadn't come in yet and would only go in after the weekend. If we wanted the house, we'd have to up our offer.
Cue an almighty arguement between James and I. The end result? I phone up the agent and say we're pulling our offer entirely. They could take it or leave it.
Five minutes later I get a call... is it too late to be accepted?
Five minutes after that, I'd instructed our lawyer. Is early days yet.. plenty of time to get gazumped, so keeping this on the down low until we're all done!
Cue an almighty arguement between James and I. The end result? I phone up the agent and say we're pulling our offer entirely. They could take it or leave it.
Five minutes later I get a call... is it too late to be accepted?
Five minutes after that, I'd instructed our lawyer. Is early days yet.. plenty of time to get gazumped, so keeping this on the down low until we're all done!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Out of Control
So.
Yesterday we had option
1) Size Doesn't Matter
2) Big and Beautiful
By last night
1) was holding out for 5K and had someone else waiting to make an offer.
2) was no longer of interest because I decided that constant noise would be far too annoying to live with
This morning we are waiting to hear where the competing offer on 1) came in yet. With any luck it'll be 40K under our offer. More likely though, since it's on a premier road in Chiswick, it'll come in as 20K over ours all cleared funds.
Bah.
Yesterday we had option
1) Size Doesn't Matter
2) Big and Beautiful
By last night
1) was holding out for 5K and had someone else waiting to make an offer.
2) was no longer of interest because I decided that constant noise would be far too annoying to live with
This morning we are waiting to hear where the competing offer on 1) came in yet. With any luck it'll be 40K under our offer. More likely though, since it's on a premier road in Chiswick, it'll come in as 20K over ours all cleared funds.
Bah.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Decisions, Decisions
For some time now, the Hubs and I have been looking to move onto the next stage of our marriage. This does not involve videos and swings, or even pie-baking and quilt-making, but is as simple as a white picket fence and somewhere to hang our hats.
Did I say simple?
To date we have had our hearts broken, our finances argued over, and our expectations mismanaged. Largely between ourselves. Now, finally, it feels like we're almost there, and so I thought I'd start writing about the experience.
Last night, we viewed two properties, both of which are viable. The first is round the corner from our current (rented) place in an area called the Glebe Estate. We love the area and haven't been able to move for years as a result. The problem with it though is that, typically, the houses (which are Victorian cottages) are fairly small and hideously expensive. Thanks to various forms of financial wrapping and personal irresponsibility in the UK, though, they are now within reach. The second is about a five minute walk away, about a third bigger, but on a busy road. This road normally attained the same kind of prices as those on the Glebe Estate and we were surprised that it was being offered at such a good price. The problem is that it is an awfully busy road.
Dillema. If both would accept our offers what do we go for?
1) Perfect location, cute house
2) Questionable location but family-sized
Help!
Did I say simple?
To date we have had our hearts broken, our finances argued over, and our expectations mismanaged. Largely between ourselves. Now, finally, it feels like we're almost there, and so I thought I'd start writing about the experience.
Last night, we viewed two properties, both of which are viable. The first is round the corner from our current (rented) place in an area called the Glebe Estate. We love the area and haven't been able to move for years as a result. The problem with it though is that, typically, the houses (which are Victorian cottages) are fairly small and hideously expensive. Thanks to various forms of financial wrapping and personal irresponsibility in the UK, though, they are now within reach. The second is about a five minute walk away, about a third bigger, but on a busy road. This road normally attained the same kind of prices as those on the Glebe Estate and we were surprised that it was being offered at such a good price. The problem is that it is an awfully busy road.
Dillema. If both would accept our offers what do we go for?
1) Perfect location, cute house
2) Questionable location but family-sized
Help!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
