Friday, November 08, 2002

Sometimes I lose track of myself.

All this time I've been spending with Guy has finally infiltrated the alcohol seeping through my brain. I've always been one of those people who shares beliefs with Harry [of the when he Met Sally fame]. Boys and Girls, Men and Women, just cannot be friends. Ineffable totally disagrees with me, but she's among the minority of my friends [although, I'm sure, in the majority of hers - birds of a feather and all]. The point I'm making is that, after spending this much time with him, I'm finding myself sinking deeper and deeper into trouble. Trouble, you say, what kind of trouble? Well, the trouble is this. I'm reverting into a teenager. I wait for emails and calls, I get jealous, I get offended, I get concerned. I basically care far too much. To make it clear, I am very much my boyfriends. Love him dearly, intend to procreate and marry. That is why this is a problem.

The buzz and excitement of the game, the rush and the ego boost. It's something Troy, my bestest buddy, and I constantly discuss [one of the recurring themes from '95]. The thing is, for the first time since Ragan, I find the game slipping from my control. It's nothing major though, just surprising. Maybe I've been with my Boi so long that I've begun to overestimate the defences that did me so well. This is senseless, how can I write sensibly about something that I am struggling to make sense of myself. It'll pass with my period.

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